Two Things…

Hi Brooke. Two things.
First, I asked you a couple of weeks ago for some help in dealing with my elderly parents – a dad who had decided his life was over and wouldn’t get medical care and wouldn’t eat enough to sustain health, and a very dependent step mother. What you said to me in response changed everything. The one sentence that stood out the most was (paraphrasing here): Your thoughts about this situation are robbing you of your relationship with your parents. Because when I truly let that sentence sink in, I was able to see that although I had the thought that my father was acting in the way he was to hurt me and the rest of his family, he was also making me aware that he would die…in two days, in two months, in two years…and that I could use my time with him differently – which resulted in a much different conversation with him in the next few days than what had taken place before and allowed us to experience peace and trust with one another. So thank you so much for that. My father did die, nine days ago, peacefully. It was a shock to all of us because he seemed to be “getting better” but I don’t believe it was a shock to him, and I am just entirely grateful that my last conversations with him were loving and accepting, with and through the painfulness of the situation.

Second, what you said at the beginning of your second call this month. I felt as if I had Skyped you and you were speaking to me directly. Because in my grief and my difficulty with acceptance, sadness, guilt, etc. over losing my father, I have been spinning out and when I have thought about the commitments I made to myself when I enrolled in SCS in February, I have dreaded even coming to the SCS site and watching videos, listening to podcasts, doing the homework. And I was wondering if maybe I wasn’t worthy of the money I was paying for this program because I was aware that in my grief, I stopped showing up and it felt like a character flaw unique to me and that I was not capable. So listening to/watching your intro to the call….it was like a warm blanket. Because, like others you were speaking to, I was looking at my own failure to do everything, and do it perfectly, as an F grade and feeling pulled to drop it all since I was obviously no good at it. You have given me much to think about now. I guess this isn’t a question as much as it is just my expression of heartfelt gratitude to you and my way of telling you, I heard you.