Ugh! I blew it

I had a bad night that I think I was setting myself up for all day. I had a really long day and yet I kept going back and forth in my thoughts why I should or shouldn’t drink tonight … and unplanned drinking evening. That led to a full blow eating binge which I don’t have to say made me feel you know how. Failure, overwhelmed, self-loathing, headache and just all the horrible feelings. Ironically, I just reacted and jumped off my bed and shut my computer, slammed my scholars workbooks closed and thought, im going to drink. I was excited and driven and didn’t look back until 2 hrs later. Why? As stupid as it seems my phone was ringing with texts from funny family and friends. I tried to ignore it because I was doing my work. But the fun and joking with these texts led me to…. fuck it!! My plan was to drink on the weekend. But this was not the weekend in that it is a long holiday weekend with plans on Monday which I planned to drink so therefore not Friday. But that all went to hell. As I cancelled my 10 min tutoring session for tomorrow out of now what do I talk about, I saw your email below. Where do I go from here? What I need always seems to be right there in just the two weeks of scholars. Thanks brooke.
Our longing for growth is often answered with temporary pleasure.

Pleasure that leaves us bloated, hungover, in debt, and regretful.

Growth is uncomfortable.

It asks us to feel our doubt, overwhelm, and fear.

It requires we move past our confusion and self-pity.

When the discomfort arrives and a cupcake solves…

it’s no wonder any of us ever grow at all.

The trick is not to find a way around the discomfort.

The trick is to find a way into it.

Through it.

On the other side is the success you want.