Unable to stay on track and lose weight

I have a blog about personal development and I am so disappointed in myself. I’ve gained weight since March and I am struggling to lose weight. I don’t find myself committed and I end up eating unhealthy food. I feel like I am unable to follow through.
I look myself in the mirror and feel disgusted with what I see. Since the weight gain I have been avoiding taking pictures or doing videos for my blog as I feel ashamed and not myself. I want to be healthy but I don’t seem to be able to stay on track. How can I help anyone if I can’t do it myself? This is bothering me a lot and has hugely affected my confidence. I don’t want anyone to see me this way.