Uncertainty in my decision with marriage.

Hi there,

I am trying to figure out after quite some time if i want to stay in my marriage. I have worked on myself, I know the power of changing my thoughts but I keep feeling like I am ready to make a change.

Yet every time I go to do it I stop myself. I feel like my brain is full of sludge and all the rules around what marriage looks like goes against what I want. After telling my husband what I would like and feeling the heaviness in the house, at times I just want to run back. I feel frequently confused in what I want and not sure where to go from here. Thank you!