Unconditional Love For Husband

C – husband.
T – I need to consider the idea of simply accepting all that he is/does and embrace love for him (by the way – that “simply” pisses me off. It’s my brain taunting me that I can’t just do something because it’s the right thing but I need to think “simply” because it is simple).
F – tired. Resistant. Frustrated. Ridiculous. Resentful.
A – I work these models. The actual Action toward him? Most recent is short and dismissive in an attempt to avoid saying what I am thinking to him. He uses the term “letting my emotions get the best of me.”
R – I conclude I need assistance with this so I come here to ask you.

I can’t get my brain and heart to embrace that the feeling of love is just for me. That it is simply a decision. That he is not lovable, I just decide to love him (I flip this around to him about me to try and understand and it just sounds preposterous). I have MODELED THE SHIT OUT OF THIS FOR WEEKS, FROM ALL DIRECTIONS, and I can’t get anything neutral to stick.