Unconditional love: How to determine when to model and when to take action to make things better?

I just got through watching Karol (“with a K”), from Brooke Live on July 5th, talk about how she and her husband are having issues because he wants quiet time when he gets home from work and she wants/needs interaction with him. I thought I would ask about a similar situation, except perhaps more extreme.

My significant other, whom I’ll call Abe, behaved similarly to Karol’s husband. The situation differed in that when Abe came home from work, he would sit down at his computer and play computer games for the remainder of the evening until after I went to bed. Everyday. On the weekends, he would get up, go to his computer and play games the entire day and into the evening both days. I would venture that he was addicted to them. If you know anyone who plays World of Warcraft, you may know what I’m talking about.

Abe and I were together for 5 years. When we first started dating and into the first year, he hid his gaming from me. It came out eventually and I spent A LOT of time trying to accept his love of this activity. I told myself that I admired his skill level and wished I was so passionate about anything, that he was lucky to enjoy something so much. But, it got very old after a while. He never wanted to do anything but play, play, play. We eventually split up and I am happily married to someone else.

Even though I worked hard to love Abe unconditionally for so long, I just couldn’t keep it up. I was so lonely, neglected, and dejected. My question for you is this: how does a person know where to draw the line between loving unconditionally and modifying thoughts to accept an seemingly imperfect situation and cutting it off, saying goodbye, and finding a loving, fulfilling relationship, such as the one I now enjoy?

I’m stumped.

As always, thanks so much!