Under budgeting – scarcity?

Hi Brooke,
My family of 5 live in a very small house and we were considering taking the leap to sell and move to a bigger house this spring. I thought that decision was a good “face the fear” situation for me. However, I am now feeling as though I have been in denial of our money reality. What I tend to do is under budget and set up an unrealistic budget so it seems like I am over budget every time I shop (groceries, toiletries, etc). I don’t even budget for some things that we consistently do need (haircuts, clothes/shoes, etc). And when I do budget for things I am now realizing I am budgeting for what I wish it costs, not what it actually is costing us. I’ve watched all of your money videos and listened to every call. I am making myself a money workbook to really track everything to become more aware. I feel like this under budgeting and then over spending is me coming from a place of scarcity. I seem stressed with every receipt because it’s over what I anticipate/hope for. Wondering what you say to clients regarding budgeting? I seem to get so strict I am just bound to fail monthly.