Hello, I enjoyed the “Underearning” session this week and it did bring up many thoughts for me.
“There ya go…Brooke got divorced which is proof that women can’t earn a lot of money AND have successful relationships. I knew that was going to happen. In fact, one reason I liked SCS was because it seemed like she had a great marriage.” F: Justified, Certain
“Men don’t like successful women, especially if they out earn them.” F: Timid
“MY man will be threatened by my success and earning power, and this will create problems for our relationship eventually leading to divorce.” F: Fear,
“ANY successful or rich person, not just women, can’t have happy. successful relationships…they are too obsessed, busy, materialistic, business-y.” F: Fear
“My parents weren’t rich, and they were happy.” F: Smart
“I have 2 new clients yesterday (for a total of 4 clients), and I can already see signs that my husband doesn’t like it, he is threatened by my success.” F: Fear
” He prefers for me to make his lunch and iron his shirts.” F: Crazy
“He doesn’t like when I don’t want to listen to his negative talk, I ask him to focus on now and tomorrow, not yesterday or ‘them – (media, work, politics, etc.). I see how relationships with others deteriorate in this program.” F: Sad, Scared
“I mean writing that sounds crazy, so my brain is seeking out every little wobble and assigning meaning to support my underlying belief that Rich people are not Relationship People, and I Am a Relationship Person, so I Cannot Be Rich Too. AAARGGHH!!! F: Frustration
OK, I am noticing that, and yesterday I noticed that when I did write down an annual goal, I had an emotional thing happen later in the day in reaction to being late for a session. And again, my brain is saying, you can’t even show up on time for your meeting, you WASTE money, you can’t be trusted with money. I TDL’d as much as possible, and cried a little bit, just letting that process.
This feels so real, and also sounds/looks so crazy when written down, and it does bring up a lot of Fear for me. I am trying to process the Fear, but there’s also like Anxiety that’s keeping Fear alive; I keep thinking “what about tomorrow, next week, next month….?”
I welcome your feedback; I find your responses helpful, even though sometimes they are difficult to read, at first LOL (aka resistance).