I’m beginning the compensation negotiation process with my current employer of 4 years. In preparation I’ve been doing market research on pay rates commensurate with my level, knowledge, and experience. This has led to conversations with executives in the field. I had a conversation with one of those executives yesterday, which led to the models below.

UM1:
C – M said, “Girl, you are grossly underpaid.”
T – I’m not doing as well as I thought I was. I don’t call myself an underearner, but evidently I still am one. (Note: I normally would have just one sentence but both of these are strong and they produce the same F-line).
F – Disheartened/Discouraged
A – ruminate on regrets of not pushing harder for raises in the past. Tell myself that these people have been taking advantage of me. Worry about how much money I’ve lost out on these past two years. Don’t speak so vibrantly about what has been working. Discount prosperity (of all varieties) that I have experienced. Discount the ways I thought I was doing well. Do not keep advocating for my value.
R – I act like an underearner.

UM2:
C – M said, “Girl, you are grossly underpaid.”
T – My employer (namely L) has been taking advantage of me.
F – Indignant
A – When I communicate with L, speak and write with underlying tones of aggression. Fight my employer until they pay more or until they fire me. Show up to work with surly attitude when I interact with R & L especially. Ruminate on feeling offended. Ruminate on how wrong all of this is. Trash talk employer to colleagues. Swear to become a thorn in their side until they change or until I quit. Do not focus on doing good work and being of service. Do half ass work. Divorce my uplifting energy from the work. Report my employer to other organizations, like leave a bad review on Glassdoor. Expend a lot of forceful energy. Do not focus on that I do appreciate the work itself and that this year’s expansion of work responsibilities is the direction I want to go. Feed off how powerful and righteous indignation feels. Ignore how tiring and exhausting acting from indignation is. Ignore the impact my behavior has on my work relationships.
R – I exploit my employer. I abandon myself.

IM:
C – M said, “Girl, you are grossly underpaid.”
T – I am going to make all of this work for me.
F – Resolute
A – Calmly advocate for myself through written and verbal means. Take deep breaths as I communicate. State every point until I feel I’ve stood up for myself fully. Have the same negotiation conversation with R or whomever else about my other role. Be willing to lose my job/move on to other work opportunities because this compensation discussion is THAT important to me. Stay open to Solutions that work well for me even though I initially didn’t think of them. Meditate on my self sufficiency. Tether myself to the idea that my financial security and prosperity come from my mind. Pray to my Higher Power for guidance, fortitude, and to act from kindness and grace. Do not hold a grudge. Do current work responsibilities in ways that work for me, for example be firm with my time boundaries and schedule, accept myself for and commit to doing B minus work, maybe even C+ work. Keep advocating for myself.
R – I have my own back 100%. I show myself what power and grace looks like. I experience myself as a powerful and graceful professional. I show up exactly how I want no matter what anyone else says or does.

P.S. I am thankful for this work. I see how I have the power to turn the same situation from helpless to empowering.