Understanding A Want Match

Hey there! I’m trying to understand a “want match” or wanting something that’s not in our own model.
Here is my example: If I want my children to be happy all the time, but the truth is my children don’t want to be happy all the time (because they want to be upset, etc. about things), I’m wasting my want since we don’t have a want match. It would be pointless for me to want that because it’s not about me. I’m up in their models. However, if I want to be happier, then I can work on that for me, and that would be a want I could actually work on, Right? Does that make sense? Thank you so much for your help!!