Hey there.

So I have listened to the “boundaries” podcast several times right now and I am struggling with one of the concepts!

I understand that a boundary is set by me, for ME. And the physical part is easy to grasp. I set a boundary for you not to slap me in the face (lets just say for sake of argument) and if you do, I will never speak to you again (consequence). But emotional boundaries are harder for me to grasp.

So lets say, I set a boundary and I say, I would really appreciate it if you would refrain from texting me while I am at work. This is a request, and I understand I can’t control that person. So, I say, please respect this boundary, and if you don’t I will not talk to you for a week (or whatever the consequence is). So this person does so anyway. The next day, they text me at work. And I follow through and don’t talk to them for a week. This is what you would consider a “boundary Violation” yes?? Because I think what I am struggling with, is if the boundary is in place for ME, and its My responsibility, then how can someone violate that? If adults can behave however they want, and a boundary isn’t about how someone ELSE behaves, then how can we call that a violation?

Ugh. I am so confused on this. Lol. I feel like it should be simple but I am missing something!!

I guess I just want to understand exactly what an “emotional” boundary violation is, and maybe can you give me an example?

Thanks so much….