understanding the model


I am trying to run this scenario through the model but I am stuck on where to change my thoughts because it then just places blame on the other person, when I feel that I could have done something to change the result.

c: J got a DWI after he dropped me off from work party.
t: I could have stopped this by suggesting an uber, or for him not to drive.
f: I feel bad for him that this happened.
a: didn’t suggest for us or him to uber
r: someone didn’t step in and as a result J got DWI, meaning me and me when I am not responsible bad things happen

not sure how to change my thinking here. Maybe I am not understanding the model.

looking for help
Newbee