I am really struggling with this one. My partner has during the last 6 months perhaps been working 3 months. He keeps quitting his jobs for various reasons and quit his last one a couple of weeks ago. His chances of getting an ongoing job before Christmas are small but he has been offered a few events over the holidays + was in contact with someone about a temp job a few weeks ago which he said he was going to chase up (but hasn’t). Now, the lady offering him the temp jobs rang him on Friday to confirm his availability (it’s now Monday evening) and he still hasn’t replied to her call. Instead he is happily planning on going on holiday over Christmas. I have told him we’re going nowhere cause I won’t pay for it. If he gets a job and can pay for his part, we can go. So a) he’s not acting upon these opportunities, and b) uses the excuse that there will be a job for him starting on the 7th of January so it will be ok, I should get a bank loan to pay for our holiday and then he’ll pay me back when he’s working.

C – Partner doesn’t get a job.
T – He is using me.
F – Resentment.
A – Puts pressure on partner despite it’s none of my business.
R – We argue and he is still unemployed.

I’ve tried to change this into:
C – Partner doesn’t get a job.
T – Contacting employers is very anxiogenic for him.
F – Compassion.
A – Leaves him to sort it on his own.
R – He’s still unemployed.

This happened 3 months ago, he chose to remain unemployed for 6 weeks until his bank account was on $0. We have separate economies so it is not my problem until it reaches 0, but what then?