Unhealthy relationship models


Hey Coaches

I have been looking at a model for a while now and thought it was not sitting right,

originally I was starting with the circumstance, I understand that our thinking creates our feelings, actions, results, but i feel like my focus was on the specific person in the C line. Since starting in the A line the circumstance ends up being less specific to this particular relationship, with the person. that model plays out differently when I start in the A line as opposed to the C line. The whole time i thought this action was specific to the circumstance with this one person, but starting in the A line feels as if I am now uncovering something bigger? Which is the right way to do this?

Starting in C line model

C start a relationship with said person (who is unavailable)
T this is wrong, should not be doing this
F anxiety
A judge self, hate self, do not trust self , procrastinate, obsess, buffer
R feel unworthy

when i start in The A lone i notice the emphasis comes off of the person and this situation? in this model i feel like it is totally general (e.g it could be almost any male in the C line)

Starting in A line of model

C Male gives me attention
T I am not enough, I need to maintain this persons momentary validation of myself
F unworthiness
A partaking in unhealthy relationships, allowing people to treat me like dirt and disrespect me, disrespect myself, judge self,
R Confirm i am not a good person because I have so much shame for chasing unhealthy relationships

Also I am not sure if unworthiness in the F line is actually correct, because although I feel unworthy, when i get this attention i feel momentarily worthy, so should ‘worthy’ in the F line instead? I think perhaps I have 2 opposing models going on at once, what do you do to work through this in this instance?

This is my other model going on at the same time

C male gives attention
T This feels amazing
F Confident
A People please, encourage,
R more temporary attention

thanks!