Unmotivated daughter


I’m trying to allow urges, such as not tell my daughter what she should and shouldn’t do. As of late she hasn’t been motivated, and actually said she’s “not feeling motivated” to do anything. The other day she was just sitting in her room staring complaining about how bored she was. Instead of dish out the expectations or tell her what she should or shouldn’t be doing, I tried to get curious and asked her questions. It didn’t really go anywhere. I was trying to allow the urge of frustration, letting her sit in her room and stew. I just don’t want that for her – wasting time.

C: Daughter sat in room and said “she was bored”
T: I wish that were different
F: Frustrated
A: Coached Self, Let her not do anything (See comment*)
R: ?

I’m not really sure what else I did or didn’t do from frustration. I’m convinced I disrupted my model and allowed the urge of frustration. I refrained from requesting anything of her. It just seems like there’s something more, because the actions I took seemed like I was taking them to avoid frustration. Kind of like I when someone tells me not to eat the cake and all I can think about is to eat the cake, so I squirrel around resisting the uncomfortable feelings that wanting to eat the cake brought up. Coaching the shit out of myself to understand why I want to eat the cake. I’m stuck – how do I know if I’m allowing or resisting, my A – line seems sneaky? Struggling to get to the R. Any suggestions?