Unsure about my R

I’d like some help with this R-line of my Model.

Context: I am a certified LCS coach with a business. I did a Facebook live in my FB group yesterday. I get performance anxiety / stage fright, even though it’s just video. I do things I consider awkward, like obsessively fix my hair while on camera, or coughing and rubbing my nose. These are the things I did while on camera yesterday, and I felt very judgmental of myself. I wanted to explore why this mattered to me, instead of modeling out why I relied on these coping mechanisms. As in, I want to be okay with myself for having these coping mechanisms, instead of trying to make them go away.

My current model:
C – Facebook live
T – Life coaches aren’t insecure.
F – Judgmental
A – Feel like hiding, tempted to not save the video, avoid how I feel by scrolling social media, think I’m not good enough, compare myself against established coaches, wonder when I’ll be like the established coaches, not focusing on myself and my journey, not being okay with my humanity
R – ??