Unworthy Mother

Hi, I was hoping you might be able to help me unpack the regret and shame for the way I have been thinking and acting towards my youngest son. He is more energy intensive than my older son and I constantly find myself passing judgement on him and comparing them (I notice this is a pattern with myself as well-comparing with others from a place of scarcity). I hate that I do that with him. I think because my thoughts are really about me, I come after him in a way that is extra harsh, like please g-d do not end up with the same qualities I have and I am like trying to “punish it out of him”. Yesterday I grabbed his arm with my nails in a dramatic and completely unnecessary fashion. I am carrying the shame and guilt about that today because I know in my heart the standards I hold him too (trying to figure out his struggles)- I don’t even hold myself to. Almost like he should have it all figured out and I don’t. Hope this makes some kind of sense. Looking forward to some coaching on this. Thank you.