Upcoming Holiday Thought Models

My IG for 2020 is a weight loss goal. I’ve decided that I will take action towards this goal starting Jan. 1st (cliche I know). I felt a bit guilty about deciding this at first, like I was using it as an excuse to buffer until then but I’ve come to terms with it and feel good about it now. My goal until then is to not lose or gain any weight, but to simply maintain. But I find myself feeling a bit out of control around food since I’ve given myself this new freedom and am worried that I will end up gaining weight over the next couple weeks. I’m having trouble figuring out what my new thought should be for my intentional model to get the result I want:

C: Upcoming Holidays
T: I am consciously choosing to indulge and not worry about food or my body over the holidays
F: relief
A: I overindulge because this lack of restriction is rare for me
R: Gain weight, feel guilty, probably not even truly enjoy the food

C: Upcoming Holidays:
A: I eat whatever I want but don’t overindulge
R: I maintain my weight through the end of the year and truly enjoy myself