Urge jar for controlling the world


I am calling my new urge jar the “That Shit Doesn’t Work” urge jar.

I’ll give myself a marble when:
– I feel the urge to try to control others (with my A’s)
– When I catch myself people pleasing in order to feel a certain way (or stop feeling a certain way)
– When I catch myself procrastinating because of my fear of uncertainty for the unknown future
– When I catch myself resisting the reality of my life
– When I’m rushing or hurrying through goals, thought work, business tasks, everything (The “It will be better there.” train of thinking)
– When I am trying to control something that is not technically in my control
– A reward for when I allow circumstances or people to happen, that I previously would have jumped immediately at the chance to try and “fix”
– A reward when I acknowledge something that I’m trying to change, see what about it is actually in my control, and redirecting my brain to focus on that
– I notice myself feeling resentful, blaming, playing victim to my circumstances or something someone else has done/said, etc. (emotional childhood)
– I notice myself delegating my thoughts and feelings to others (emotional adulthood)
– I notice myself trying to convince someone else (boyfriend, usually) to have a new, better thought in order to feel better (sneak coaching/manipulating/usually happens when I’m trying to make them feel better so that I can feel better)
– I notice how I react when someone I’m close to experiences an emotion like frustration, anger, or annoyed (the ones that I’m usually trying to “fix” for them with my words or other actions, usually I think I am the cause of those F’s for them but I never am!)
– I notice myself trying to force negative emotions away (goal: holding space and processing the negative emotion)

My goal is to increase awareness around all the ways I try to control the world, control others, attempt to force reality to be different than it is, loosening my grip on the illusion I have that I actually can change others, and working toward learning what is and is not in my actual control.

Any other ideas for what I can add? I’m excited to see where this goes!

I’ve always had power and control, I was just confused about which was which!