Urge to binge


I’m having a serious problem with urge driven overeating which I think is a form of binge eating. I would not have considered myself a binge eater prior to a very successful weight loss using tools learned in this program- decisions ahead of time, creating a protocol. I am still about 15 pounds away from goal weight. At this point, however, I am very good at sticking to my protocol for the majority of the week. I have some minor urges to eat off protocol during this time, however, for the most part I am not meeting these urges, but letting them pass. The urges during these time periods are not very strong. Around once a week, I find that I get an incredibly strong urge to eat off plan. I try to allow the urge- to breath into it and let it pass. However, in retrospect, I believe I am probably resisting the urge instead of allowing it. Occasionally I am able to see the urge without meeting it, but most often, about once a week, I meet my urge- and when I do, it’s not just one off protocol thing- I eat all the things until I feel sick. It feels so strong, like an addiction. The thoughts that occur during this time are that I really want the food and my primitive brain has all sorts of excuses for why it is ok. I try to sit with the urge, but at that point I already know I am going to meet it and there is some relief. Once the eating is done, I try to have compassion for myself and I have become much better at this. However, I am super frustrated that I seem to keep repeating my behavior. I lose a few pounds during the week and then gain it all back during my off plan eating episode. I know that the answer is to practice allowing and not giving into the urge and the more times I do that, the better I will get. However, I find it hard to practice in these moments because the desire is so strong.