Urge to get away

I got coached on the VIP call last week about feeling an urge to break up with my boyfriend and move out of our apt. Brooke said she knows I think this will go away at some point but it’ll be with me my entire relationship. As I was thinking about this earlier, it occurred to me that I’ve been the one to break up every one of my past relationships. So this is just a pattern for me, right? Even though I really want a loving, committed relationship. Which is a little confusing lol. Why will this be with me my entire relationship and what does it mean for me in relationships? I am thinking it doesn’t mean anything unless I think it does, it’s just a pattern or habit and I get to decide what to think and how to relate to my bf and whether to heed the urge to run. I also sometimes wonder if I am not meant to do the whole family, marriage, kids thing. And I get to decide if that’s true, too, right?