Urge to resist negative emotions


Hi, I am a diamond here in scholar. I have been having this issue since the beginning, and I haven’t yet conquered the freedom I would like around it. So when I have a plan for something and the feeling of scarcity and deprivation, mostly related to food but not only, I go into a mode of over salivation. It is my way of resisting. I find it annoying because I have to deal with the saliva and I always need to swallow it or put it in a tissue. Most of the time I end up resisting salivation which creates more salivation of course. I can be stuck in this kind of cycles for full days, and that’s not fun. Here is my thought download around this today. I start with feelings, then find the associated thoughts

trapped –> “I am not capable of shifting this”
constricted –> “I can’t move and talk freely” (what if I do?) “I will spill saliva from my mouth” (what if I do?) “If I am alone I have to clean(ok I can try that) if I am with others that is not socially sustainable”
hopeful –> “Maybe I can try when I am alone to let the saliva spill. Maybe this is a strategy that works”
lost –> “There is a strategy out there that can help me move beyond these moments. But I have not found it yet”
resist –> “I should not feel lost” –> A: salivate more
wonder –> “what if I allow myself to feel lost? I have probably never done it with attention”
acceptance –> “I allow myself have the full experience of lost for a while”

After this, I went into a few minutes of noticing the sensations in my body associated to feeling lost. I am still over salivating but at least that shifted the quality of my feelings towards acceptance.
To conclude I have the impression that my conditioned response that involves salivation can be considered a “urge to resist” some negative emotions, mostly deprivation, restriction, but also weakness lost. Any suggestion on how can I work with the “urge to resist”? I think my go-to modality is to resist because I am afraid of indulging into these negative emotions, and not be able to move beyond them. Thanks