Urgent! Conflict Resolution

Urgent! Please help!

I anticipate my intentional action to occur as early as tomorrow (maybe even later today). I’m working on ways figuring out if this is the right action to take from a clean mind and would appreciate advice on my models especially my intentional action.

Unintentional Model:

C: Co-chair sent an email cc’ing our children’s teachers saying some things that were different from her past emails and texts to me.

T: She threw me under the bus and made me look bad by saying false statements & reprimanding me in front of them. I worked so long and hard on this project that she said she didn’t know how to do.

We agreed that I would do the project then she blindsided me with this email including to state, “it is unfortunate that you didn’t accept the help that was offered numerous times by me and (other person).”

– By the time she asked if I needed help it was already the week the project was due and I was already working on it. The, “other person” she mentioned, said from the beginning, “my fingers are crossed that you know how to do this because I certainly don’t,” and I didn’t receive anything else about offering help – which I didn’t expect because I said I could do it.

She wrote, “This has always been a team project and I was more than willing and happy to work with you. In every text and email that was sent to you, you communicated that you had a handle on this project.”

– The role has always been a team project. The job description did not mention this specific project which I said I would do. I handled and completed the project.

She wrote, “I also wanted to point out that I told you numerous times…
…and that’s why it needed to be no longer than 5 minutes. The guidelines for this project were very clear.”

– She texted me once and recently wrote, “no longer than 6 minutes.” I replied, “it’s 6 minutes” and she replied, “Perfect!!!”

She wrote, “In the future, better communication, better listening and willingness to work with others would be greatly appreciated.”

1) she surprised me a little over a week ago when I ran to catch up with her to check in about the project before she was leaving an event that we were both at for at least two hours. She replied that she already started on the project herself without communicating with me via phone, email or in person – as we were in the same place for at least two hours. She wasn’t willing to work with me and decide to start her own project that was only specific to some kids and didn’t include the whole grade.
2) it was inappropriate and poor email etiquette to send this email to add the teachers to this email
3) she could have reached me via instead of a formal email. We’ve been in communication via texting and have been on vacation together. She could have came to me.
4) she didn’t communicate on her part with the role we shared during the year that she was having technical difficulties or if she wanted me to cover events she couldn’t cover, or students she couldn’t get photos of
5) I willingly used the photos she sent for the project

I don’t agree with the statements in her email. Our kids will likely be classmates together for the next eight years. Why cause such an ugly conflict?

F : Defensive

A: Begin to draft email replying to all; seek advice

R: Constantly think about issue and the words to say to defend myself

Intentional Model:

C: Co-chair sent an email cc’ing our children’s teachers saying things that were different from her past emails and texts to me.

T: I will talk to co-chair above noting said circumstance above. I will clarify my email when I sent out the final project noting that my statement on the long time I spent on it was to clarify why the project was just being sent that night and had nothing to do with her. I felt the need to justify that I’ve been working on the project all those times and not just putting something together last minute and sending it late.

She sent that email because of her own thoughts about her effort in the project and I now see that she may have felt the need to defend herself. She previously stated that she feels like she’s not doing her part and called it a group project. The job description did not include this project originally and I chose to take it on and put the effort and time in that I did. I am not complaining about the long hours I put it in which she might have misread as to have anything to do with her.

F: Confident

A: Speak to each individual about the email when I see them next

R: Said my piece with each person individually allowing them an opportunity to share any of their thoughts with me