Using Urge Jar "rewards" to help me learn self love and respect

Hi there..after a great call with Carola today I had an a-ha moment of realizing that everything I was doing/thinking and not doing/thinking around weight loss was actually a distraction from the truth that I am avoiding. My Whys for weight loss …to feel great in and proud of my body , and to stop the continual drama of a lifetime on/off diets, are available to me right now. I haven’t accessed them b/c they are in fact also distractions to the truth that I lack self love and respect…and then am critical and judgemental to myself when I notice that, and then overeat to buffer all of these feelings. Rinse, repeat.
So my question is…how could I use the Urge Jar, or other tools?… to help me learn the skill of self love and respect vs self blame, criticism and lack of self respect? I realize I need to re-train my brain. And what other skills practice could I institute to help me change my focus and practice more self love?
Thanks! Loving SCS!!