Valid Thoughts?

I have a lot of resentment towards my husband. I am aware it is my thinking and reminding myself. I feel like I’ve been burned so many times that its hard to get past it. I feel like he doesn’t deserve me and I am settling. I know I am not better than him but show it differently. I have a hard time dealing with his verbal/physical abuse towards our kids and I. We have mutual agreements and he breaks them. I am focusing on how I want to see him on purpose. I am telling myself ,“so what,” but but this makes me feel like I am leaving my kids in a bad situation. I want to see him as a genuinely loving person that is supportive towards himself and his family. Also someone that is open to communicating. I need help staying in these thoughts….
Are my thoughts trying to change him or are they valid thoughts?
Thank you!