Hi Brooke,

I have a very great relationship with my boss. For a long time, we both confided in each other about the work one of our colleagues does, and stewed together in our anger and upset about how she didn’t perform and wasn’t doing the work well. A few months back, I started doing models + Byron Katie’s The Work on my thoughts about her, and though I don’t think she does the work well, I no longer am bothered by her or dislike her. I don’t get worked up or lost in the thoughts like I once did.

My challenge is that my boss (who manages her) still does, and wants to discuss the issue often (as a source of comfort / venting). I want to be there for her and be understanding, but I’m having trouble validating her emotions but feeling differently (more at peace) in the situation. I don’t know how to act or what to say to help her feel heard and validated, but at the same time keeping my integrity. Would love your thoughts on navigating this one!