Victim Mentality

Hi- My best friend has been diagnosed with cancer & she is single and no kids.

She always makes me to feel so bad that I have all of these things (husband, kids) and she is left with a cursed and sad life alone. Her parents both died, and she has had a tough hand of cards in life with the exception of being rich and great looking.

Now she has cancer (during covid, of course, when else would she get diagnosed!), and she was kinda expecting me drop my family & move in with her for 4 months for chemo & radiation, driving her to & fro, care for her dog, grocery shopping & cooking, and being a best friend.

I would have her move in with me! But I live in a tiny apartment in NYC, and I am completely swamped with work, dog, and raising 2 boys while my husband is working full time & I work from home 20 hours a week & now homeschool, after school, etc.

I empathize with her & want to be there for her, but I can’t be full time. And now I feel guilt.

And also I now see a pattern of her always being the victim, and maybe its been a self fulfilling prophecy. Anyway, I am not sure how/if I can to show up for her in a helpful way. Ugh.