So i’m writing because i’m really proud of me as I don’t freak out about the negative thoughts anymore. Even if I have the thoughts and I engage with them, think about them and be distracted. I DON’T FREAK OUT. cause it’s ok. Freaking out just makes everything worse.
I’m really learning to believe what i want to believe and that is that i have to rely on myself and be strong for myself and what i want to believe.
I want to believe that i can believe whatever i want to believe and that i can get to the point where i can fully love my boyfriend as i already do without be bothered by these negative thoughts.
at the moment i’m at a stage where i have doubtful thoughts and stories pop up
when having dinner with my mom. i just have the thoughts
when my boyfriend called me earlier i was so happy to see him but then my brain was like: oh, wait, here you go, we have this negative story that we tell ourselves.
it’s like my brain keeps reminding me what i have to think haha.
so my issue is that i keep engaging with those thoughts. once they come up I keep thinking about them, feeling that warm nervous feeling. having a lump in my throat.
to that point that I don’t listen to the other person.
the good thing is that i don’t panic.
even right now writing this. I would rather panic but I keep telling myself that I have to believe in myself and what I want to believe. and that only I can make it happen. and I will. 1000%. and that I’m on the right track. you’ve got this! this is the right thing.
also the panicking keeps me from doing my work.
what is also really good is that i see now that the doubtful negative thoughts are only an obstacle to be able to fully love my boyfriend. I can distinguish myself and my thoughts.
So i guess my question is on how i can stop engaging with those thoughts. To think of them.
I also noticed that I’m scared of telling myself a good story because if my brain rejects it. I’m making myself feel bad again. and keep engaging with the negative thoughts.
So any suggestions? 🙂 on how i can stop to think the thought?
when I think it I can see how I act on that. How i’m totally different. Loosing control.
thanks so much for your advice and for staying with me and reading everything i write.