Wait, which one is a buffer?

I had these big plans of starting some new training I’m doing online last night and I got news during the day that sent my brain into freak out mode. Really just a repeat freak out, it wasn’t really “new” information… just a reminder of my current circumstances (separated from husband). So, I spent the evening smoking some weed, dancing to my favorite reggae band, crying and then watching Netflix.
So, today I’m kinda disappointed in myself for getting side-tracked and not starting the course. I had been making good forward progress and done so much fantastic mind work around my separation and felt like this was a set back. So now I’m wondering… which one is the buffer? Was I about to buffer with the online course in an attempt to not feel in regards to my separation? Or did I buffer with my evening activities and therefor end up procrastinating about my course and move backwards? Or, I’m just way too much in my head about ALL of it! I guess I get to decide which one it is?