Wallowing in overwhelm/getting off autopilot

I have been recognizing and eliminating buffering in my life.

I buffer with alcohol, food, Facebook and exasperation/yelling at kids. I’m pretty much down to only buffering when I get home from work to kids/toys/bikes/dinner prep/dishes. But oh, the buffering. Chips, hummus +/- a Manhattan (yes on Friday, no other days). But I recognize those other days I am white knuckling it over not pouring a drink. And I generally only ever recognize my behavior when I sit down to self coach when everyone is in bed.

Any advice on how to get off of autopilot when I drive into the driveway and the ensuing buffering and feeding my face/yelling at my kids before dinner?