Want And Desire (correct Version )


I am trying to reconcile the following concepts: (1) anything we want is because we think we will feel better when we have it; (2) we can think thoughts that make us feel that way now; (3) we are adults who are allowed to want whatever we want; (4) our desires point the way to our best life. So, I’ve noticed in multiple models across relationships and other subject matter that I judge myself for wanting what I want, for not being able to just feel that way now, and also for wanting anything in the first place, as if I could be more emotionally adult if I could get over wanting and be free from desire. I’ve heard Brooke also say that wanting connection, etc. is human because we are a tribal species. So, does that make desires and wants part of the negative 50% of life, and not indulgent? If I am working toward accepting myself as human, and imperfect, and capable of wanting what I want even if my reasons may sometimes be childish, what are some bridges to get me more toward “delicious longing” and away from the inner toddler throwing a hissy fit? I tried with other approaches, pre-Scholars, to just suppress certain wants because I had given up on ever getting them anywhere. That of course didn’t work and I still just want what I want. Thoughts about how to nuance this more effectively? Thank you and happy holidays.