Want vs. Desire


I can decide that I want something to be a part of my life, like a regular creative practice, exercise regimen or physical intimacy with my husband, but even though I make that decision, I can’t bring myself to actually feel desire to turn those wants into reality. There must be some thought that is preventing me from desiring these changes I have planned. Other than just acknowledging that I am human and humans by nature resist anything that threatens the status quo, is there some thread that connects all these instances? I took a stab at some models.

C: There are things I want to change about my routine.
T: I don’t desire change enough to take action.
F: Broken, confused, discouraged, guilty
A: Wallow in self-pity, buffer, have circular conversations.
R: I don’t take action, desire is reduced.

C: There are things I want to change about my routine.
T: I can create desire to facilitate change in my life.
F: Empowered, optimistic
A: Take small steps forward every day, seek community and guidance, forget about perfection
R: Desire develops and change begins.

The intentional model sounds good in theory, but I am not sure if I entirely believe it yet. At the same time, I don’t want to make desire some elusive outside circumstance. Does this sound like a symptom of perfectionism?