WANTED: Guidance on what to zone in on first, feels like a hot mess ;)

I literally feel like my head is spinning. I own a car repair biz with my husband, almost 9 years now. Started from scratch – I’m ex-corporate. I learned a new industry, array of services and how to do a multitude of industry specific office tasks and set up related programs while raising 3 small kids now teens (14,17,19) but didn’t have clear expectations of company and employees. I wanted SOPs, some I didn’t even know what they were until in it for years – hubby didn’t believe in it.

I’ve spent way too much time at the shop as has the family. I’m kinda hating it right now feeling stifled by this industry and my husband. I first enrolled in the entrepreneurial program you offer, now joined scholars. I need to rebuild our tech team and website. Our kids are digitally getting ready for school and I’m VP of fundraising program that due to digital, neither boys will continue in and I’m leading a car raffle they want to continue with during a pandemic.

I have to watch my perfectionistic tendancies or I’ll freeze because I get overwhelmed which is almsot where I am now – oddly I really never stop, always do something. I need to finish the recommendations Brooke & Kris make – though our company has a lot more details due to the multitude of services needed to fix a car – though I can appreciate the recommendation to streamline and am considering options.

I am the front of the shop and so uninterrupted time isn’t always feasible 9-5. On top of that, my house is a bomb due to issue with fridge and elder relatives boxes of items given to us recently and preparing my son for a new bed and changing decor. I don’t even know what to ask.

Digital schooling decision is bothering me – right/wrong? Let freshman play football or not? Opted for digital b/c high school has 4K people in it and only maybe 3′ apart. BTW my husband just got on anti-anxiety meds as I told him I was done being subjected to his violently vocal and “throwing” outbursts when he feels stressed which is almost always at work and I’m tired of making excuses to customers for his lack of focus and output.

Dare I throw in I still need to deal with the aftermath of an affair he had 3 years ago (I don’t think I fully let myself process through my thoughts and feelings on this – not that I bring it up to him or that it controls me) and my feelings of a bad mothering to my kids b/c I’m at the shop too much, was self consumed in 2017 trying to function when I knew what was going on in front of me and keep the business going during that so I could sustain the house and kids let alone during a pandemic.

Here I go again – what to focus on? Kids, Me, House or Business? I plowed thru MHO last week and struggle with placing too much in my calendar. I need to learn to be more realistic with my time and determine better priorities. So needless to say, I don’t even know what my predominant thought is to create a model. Sorry I am in a low place right now. I’m sure I’ll work my way out of it, but I’m disappointed with myself that I’m where I am career, financially and emotionally right now and want both my mojo back and my kids to blossom into the adults they are meant to be with belief in possibilities and skies the limit that I used to have. Oh ya, and I gained 30 lbs back from the many I lost in 2017 of which I was still way off of where I want to get back to and I just found out I’m allergic to dairy and wheat and I come from a long line of awesome European cooks, lol! Shit! Enough wallowing, just need help focusing – any recommendations for me of what to zone in on first?