Would like to ask some help in my current situation and on my intentional model where what i want is to feel several feelings all at the same time.
The situation is that Iya, my subordinate at work, i think is angry at me (my thoughts) and does not want to talk to me. I did try to talk to her about this conflict between us but she said she needed space and does not want to talk to be about it except work. So i respected that. So i do talk to her about specific work and what needs to be done. I just notice that i feel nervous when i talk to her. And this is not what i want to feel and i dont also like the subsequent actions and result because it does not serve me at work.
C – I talk to Iya about work
T – i dont want to make her feel more angry
F – nervous
A – talk to her in a stuttering and incoherent way
R – i dont feel good about myself on the way i talk to her (not sure if this the right result here)
I dont want the F-A-R part so im trying to find the thoughts that will serve me. Instead of feeling nervous, i want to feel courageous and firm and loving and compassionate all at the same time. Should i do models for each of these feelings? Isn’t is possible to find a thought that will make me feel all these at the same time? Because i think that one thought is want i need to have show up better in our relationship and as her immediate supervisor at work. Your thoughts and advise pls on the unintentional model, on how should my intentional model look like and on how could i turn this situation around. Thank you!