Wavering commitment

I am 5’6 and 135. I have feel maybe I could loose 5 more lbs- but I am struggling to really keep to my protocol. I have gone off protocol at least once or twice each week and then I’m constantly recommitting and then my comittment goes down and I quit again. I’ve listened to your quitting podcast numbers of times and I’m trying to figure out a compelling reason to stop buffering with food that will get me through the days when I want to give up. I choose this goal because I’m constantly buffering with food and honestly I feel I should be over weight with all the binging I do. But I’m also rationalizing it because I’m not “that fat” I’ve done a lot of models and am trying to think new thoughts, doing the bought downloads and intentional models to keep my motivation up but I’m constantly finding myself right back where I started. Tired of quitting. What’s the next best thing for me to do?