We are not a real couple 3

We had no sex in three weeks with my husband, I thought “we are not a real couple” and felt depressed. Then we had sex and I didn’t feel depressed anymore. But then I wrote about this in “Ask a coach” and felt depressed again (same heavy hole in my chest). That shows that this is really about thinking “we are not a real couple” and not about having sex or not. So, I guess when we are not having sex, I don’t have sex AND I feel depressed. This is really no use to think “we are not a real couple,” as it doesn’t change anything to the fact my husband wants to have sex or not.

I guess this is because I think he had an upbringing that made him repressed all that is about sex, that he is not natural about it, that he should be more open… How to change this point of view? I see I really do believe he should want to have sex more often and he should want to talk about sex.