I’m on holidays in Italy, and met a man who is working as a tennis instructor. One evening, at a party we talked until everybody left. I didn’t want it to end so I agreed to spend the night with him.
Since then, he is still nice but acting aloof, totally different from how he was behaving before we slept together. He is avoiding me for example, doesn’t chit chat, doesn’t tell me jokes or compliment me like he used to. This really hurts and I feel rejected and inadequate.
I’m leaving in 3 days and so desperate to have the relationship we used to have, maybe keep in touch, at least say goodbye as if we were not just random people.
As I don’t have the power to change him, the solution I have found is that I will avoid him as much as possible and try to forget everything about us. I will live my last days in this wonderful resort taking advantage of everything here (sun, sea, pizzas). But I still want to take tennis lessons which means that I will still see him. So, avoiding might not be the solution, I need to work on a solution within my own mind.
First, I am accepting the feeling of being hurt, but after that, what am I supposed to do?
I tried to do a on model this, but I’m so not believing in my intentional model, and to be honest, I feel so down that I cannot think of a thought that would energize me.
Unintentional model:
C: Tennis teacher
T: I want to be with him so bad but it’s not reciprocal
F: Hurt
A: Trying to catch up with him; trying to make eye contact; try to find him and imagine a strategy for dressing up so that he finds me irresistible and talk to me again; being so sad that I don’t have fun with the people I met here or enjoying this wonderful place; not enjoying the holidays I was so eagerly looking for; my stomach hurts so much; my face screams sadness even if I say to everyone that everything is ok.
Intentional model:
C: Tennis teacher
T: I spent a very good moment with him and absolutely loved the courting, so I’m going to keep this within me forever
F: Love
A: I enjoy my last days in the resort
R: I am making myself happy
I would be so grateful if you could help me on this…
