I think I have several models on this topic. My mind wants to put it all in one! I would appreciate some feedback and also, what do we do once we have written down the unintentional and intentional model? How do we navigate these thoughts if the other person’s behavior continues and it is a circumstance that is meaningful to you? What to do with all of this? What if we do not believe the intentional?

Unintentional Model:

C- He said that he doesn’t value having a wedding and he is not going to be responsible for the majority of the expense
T – He doesn’t care
F – Sad and angry
A – I get upset and shutdown, I give him the silent treatment
R – I continue feeling upset and shutdown, I don’t care about him

Intentional Model:
C- He said that he doesn’t value having a wedding and doesn’t want to take up the majority of the expense
T – I understand he is concerned about the cost
F – Empathy
A – I listen from a place of compassion and communicate my desires in a loving way
R – I listen to his concerns, communicate in a loving way on what we both want to spend on our wedding