Week 1 Question On Judgment


Hi coaches, I’m doing the homework exercise for day 1 week 1 where it says to judge a person and not hold back. I’m working on my relationship with my husband and if I were to judge him I would say he’s often negative, gets upset easily, and has a tendency to look for someone to blame. At the end of this exercise it says that I should go back and circle the things that are true about myself because judgment is a reflection of ourselves–but I don’t feel like any of these things generally describe me. In fact others often describe me as happy, optimistic, and someone who makes the best of negative situations–so I don’t see a lot of myself in my judgements of him. However, I’m predicting you’re going to respond that me thinking he’s negative makes me negative. Or me thinking that he looks for someone to blame means I’m blaming him. But I’m just trying to follow the exercise to let all the “ugly” judgments out. I know he can also be fun and easy going–but in general I feel like he’s negative and grumpy when I’m not and sometimes it ruins my good mood and makes me want to feel grumpy and irritated too. I’m not sure what to circle about myself out of the statements I wrote down where I was “judging him” because I don’t feel like it’s accurate to ask me to write down my ugly judgements, and then say that I’m the one who’s negative? I’m just trying to figure out how to think about this and would love your insights. Thanks!