Week 3 assignment

My purpose – growth, experience, peace.

The area I want to focus on and express my purpose: weight loss – and taking back control of my eating/losing desire to overeat
What do you want to accomplish and when? – I want to lose weight but I am also trying to get pregnant. How do I put a number on my weight loss when I could be pregnant any day now, and my weight changing because of that? I don’t want to make a number my focus any more, also. My purpose in this area is to grow emotionally and find peace from food obsession. How do I put a time frame on that? I could say – by the end of September, when I turn 40. But I don’t think there is a date I can put on this, I think it will come subtly and in fits and starts and steps forward/steps back. So, once again, I’m stuck. I can’t come up with a list of things I need to do – I especially can’t come up with a list that has dates next to it! “Find food freedom – by a week on Monday”?????

Anyway, I wonder if you will advise me to ask myself what life would be like if I was free from food obsession, and I could say I would be doing this and doing that and not thinking about food. But I’m already doing this and doing that, and I don’t believe I can force my food-thoughts away. I don’t believe in forcing thoughts away. So I do this and I do that and I still think all the time about food.

I never do the exercises each month for very long because I just don’t get them most of the time! “What do you need to do to accomplish this (freedom from food thinking)”. What DO I need to do? Please don’t tell me to do 100 urges – why 100? Why not 200? Why not 50?

I just question everything. I have a food protocol and I can’t stick to it because I am absolutely starving. It is this:
An apple mid-morning (I can’t intermittent fast – my day starts at 5am and ends at 9pm. I’m dying by 9am if I don’t eat and we cherish our family dinners at the end of the day, which happens at 7 when my partner gets home)
Lunch – 100 grms of protein, 100gms of veg, salad greens
Dinner – 100 grms of protein, 100 gems of veg, and 1 tablespoon of oil dressing.

Can you help?