Weight loss and falling into old patterns.

I used a wt loss coach (from the life coach school) and lost 30 pounds and gained it all back after my course with the coach ended. Took about a year and a half to gain it back. I joined SCS in December as an attempt to get back on track. I made losing 50 pounds my impossible goal. I have lost 15 and have not budged since BUT i know its because i have not been totally following my protocol. I have been grabbing ass. I have been trying to formulate my compelling reason and ive been working on thoughts that are true for me to make me feel determined but i have still been essentially eating to maintain my current weight and not lose more. Im guessing because i dont want to feel the discomfort of having to restrict myself more to lose weight. Today i had the biggest escape fail since joing SCS. Let myself have lots of flour and sugar. Im so worried that im falling back into my usual pattern. I had my very familiar “oh screw it” and “you will start over tomorrow” thoughts. Ive been trying thoughts like “i love eating food that fuels my body so i can thrive in my ideal body” and thoughts like “i will weigh 170 by april 1st” but apparently they arent doing it for me.