Weight loss + freaking out

Hi Brooke and team,

I have been in scholars for 3 months now and I joined in order to learn the model front to back, process emotions, and chose thoughts that serve me. Prior to joining, I had always considered myself a healthy eater and followed my own protocol (without knowing that was a thing on here!). Since joining scholars and being exposed to what buffering is and your teaching about weight loss, I changed my diet even more – I stopped snacking, I cut way back on flour and sugar, I eat healthy whole fats and I love it. I feel great in my body and I love the fact that I’m no longer thinking about food all the time, which is what I used to do when I snacked. I don’t feel hungry all the time either. I’m like OK – these are the times when I eat, this is what I eat and done!

Prior to joining, my weight has fluctuated for the past 10 years between 130 and 142 pounds at 5’6″. I recognize that my struggle is different from others who have come to scholars to lose much more weight and I so much admire those individuals and respect their journey. Weight loss for me has been more of a spillover effect from doing the thought work. I learned through doing this work that the reason I always gained weight is that when I got down to 130 lbs I suddenly thought that now that I’m “skinny” I can eat “anything I want.” Well hah. Now I know exactly why I gained weight and realize that it was because of my thoughts and that I have the power and the control over the weight I want to be.

The thing is, now I’ve dropped down to 129 and I’ve never seen that number on the scale before and my mind is freaking out a bit. I have a sense the number will keep dropping and then level off at some point – but when? On one hand I’m like “I’m truly eating like I’ve never eaten before” – so, this is to be expected. And then on the other hand, I’m indulging in thoughts like: shit…what if I have to buy all new clothes? I don’t want to buy all new clothes. What if I can’t keep this weight off and just bounce right back to 142? Or, what if I just keep losing weight and I become too “skinny”? What are my friends and family going to say when they realize how much weight I’ve dropped? They’re going to tell me I’m too “small.”

I know these are thoughts that I’m observing. Do you have any worksheets that can help me process my continued weight loss? I can see how these thoughts would lead to the exact result I don’t want (weighing 142 lbs again and generally not feeling great). Thank you again for all the work you do.