I’m super-excited and grateful for the new coaching sessions coming up in May. I will definitely be taking advantage! But since it’s still a week or two away, I’m hoping for a little guidance.
First of all, I know intellectually that there is no “right” way to do anything. But …
I have been in SCS since September. My whole reason for joining was weight loss. I have about 50 pounds to lose. I didn’t really go all in until January, and since then I’ve been really consistent with coaching. I’ve had an urge jar going since the day I heard the podcast about it, and I’ve been 24-hour planning consistently since the end of Feb. The work in March about believing new things was so powerful that at the end of the month I made copies of the book and am doing it again in April. (I’ll go back to the time management stuff another time.) I allow do the daily thought downloads and practice managing my thoughts all day. After two months, I am not cringing with my new thought “I am losing weight with ease.”
I am not resisting that thought any more, BUT I also don’t believe it, because I haven’t lost ANY weight in all of these months! The reason is that I am binging – not every day. Maybe every two or three days. I choose the word binge on purpose, because it is between meals, entirely emotional and incredibly numbing.
The good news is that I genuinely have stopped beating myself up about it. I am very calm and objective about the scale each day. When I have a binge, I don’t get angry. I speak compassionately to myself, and I make an agreement with myself to start again.
While emotionally I feel so much stronger, I am just not seeing physical results. (And yes, “It will take as much time as it needs to” is a thought I practice every day.) But I can’t help feeling like I am missing something. I know that the weight is not coming off because of the binging. I know that the binging is happening because I’m not allowing an urge in that moment. But WHY? What thought is so deeply buried that I can’t even hear it? I’ve worked through so, so, so many self-critical thoughts that I don’t know what could possibly be left.
All of this to say … is this normal? And what am I not doing to allow these urges?
Also, I’m 46, and I’m starting to tell myself the story that it might be more difficult with changing hormones.
I keep picking myself back up hoping that it’s the last time, but it’s hard not to lose hope when I can’t seem to get started in the physical results.