Weight of the whole world

This morning, in my car, I was overwhelmed by a sad feeling like I was carrying all the weight of the world on my shoulders. This is not new to me. Since I was a teenager I know this sensation. This morning I cried in my car, and after that I felt less tense, better.

I’ve made a connection and would like to know what your thoughts are on this.

When I write my unintentional models I’m having a hard time writing the action and result line. When I arrive at the action I resist(?) writing down what I do or not do. I notice I want to change the line in something ‘more positive’, I dread writing down ‘negative’ actions. I understand I’m the one who judges what is ‘negative’.

Since I’m resisting so often feeling ‘negative feelings’. Like deception (I notice I judge myself on this, “I shouldn’t be”), or jealousy (“I have no reason for being jealous’). It’s like it builds up over days, weeks and it has to come out.
In one way when I’m alone in my car crying, with my whole body shaking. It’s not a feeling of ‘poor me’, it’s a deep feeling of sadness.
The other way is overeating. I’ve never been overweight, eat healthy and enjoy it, but once in a month, or 2 months, I binge. That was yesterday evening…

I see connections here. But still have not clear what I can learn from this and do different in the future.

Will you give me your view on this?

Thank you.