Weird shame around self-coaching/self-help

This one feels really weird, but: I am a long-time self-help junkie. Since I was in my teens, I’ve been trying to learn more about how to heal anxiety and physical health issues, and how to be a better person. I’ve always felt I needed to hide this interest, and tucked my books away, never really talking to people about this stuff (except for a select few I knew were also interested). I guess I like to project an image of someone who has her shit together, and is kind of tough, and I always felt like self-help did not jibe with that.

Now that I have invested in Scholars, I’ve been thinking about how I am still hiding what I am doing. I haven’t told a single person I am in Scholars, not even my boyfriend (who has commented on my positive attitude lately– he thinks *he’s* responsible LOL). It feels somewhat related to Goal Shame– it feels icky and vulnerable to admit I so dearly want to improve myself. I also think some people in my life would be highly judgmental if they knew I was spending this much money on a coaching program (I too was very hesitant at first but am totally loving it so far). BUT I know this is silly to hide and people-please-y and all of that.

So…any advice here? Thank you in advance 🙂 -K