So, I just wrapped my head around how to think about the future with SCS and a comment Brook said that you can change at any age cuz you got a lot of years left to live…and Marie (my sister) and I loved this part and it took away the fear of opening a new office and taking a big-ass loan out and Marie’s thoughts of changing her career up etc or finding a new job. And we were boasting, wow, how many years we have left and I said, ‘oh my god, I have 40 years more to live!’…and now…not so much. I just had my doctor confirm my cancer diagnosis. I think I am ok with going thru treatment and side effects and crap like that but my thought in my head was that I would have a long healthy life and grow old with my sisters. Now I am thinking I won’t see my grandchild, I won’t be planning sister vacations…But it is just thoughts…causing feelings…causing moping…so the model is:
Condition: cancer
Thoughts: I will die sooner and will not have fun
Feelings: anxiety
Actions: Mope around and not do anything
Results: will not have fun and will actually probably die sooner.
So to change my thoughts:
Condition: cancer
Thoughts: I will live as long as I live, enjoying the moments and celebrating.
Feelings: calm
Actions: Plan enjoyable things
Results: Enjoy my time
AND the question is (don’t you love these long dissertations?? HA) that I feel pretty good with the thought and it makes me feel calm when I say it SOMETIMES but then other times I get a little panicky that I won’t do this…is this normal? Is there another thought to use? I can’t come up with one currently…