What do I do with a thought download after it’s done?

I’m trying to do daily thought downloadss, but I’m not feeling like I’m really uncovering anything insightful. I’m not new to journaling and there is a lot going on in my head, but I don’t feel like writing it down is actually helping me see things differently or anything. What do I do with this?

Beginning of thought download:

June 21, 2021 – 7:50am

I’d feel good about myself if I did the book report for my coaching program today. I bet I could do it in like, two hours. I could even make a game out of it – I really like that idea. I wish I didn’t feel bloated. I like not having to go to work. I can see that my brain is offering me all these thoughts. I don’t think I want to sell my condo, I actually really like my home. Why hasn’t Mike texted me back, maybe he doesn’t like me anymore? Am I getting fat? My brain is all over the place. My brain is offering me default thoughts that it has been practicing for a long time while unsupervised. Are doing thought downloads really sustainable? I’d like to have some better thoughts about my thought downloads. Let’s answer the question. Other people do daily thought downloads, even Tim Ferriss. I could be consistent with something. Now that coffee is out of the picture, I feel confident that I can be consistent with things. I am learning how to develop motivation and confidence from inside myself, rather than relying on an external source like coffee or stimulants. I still sometimes take Adderall but I don’t think I even need it anymore. I am committed to looking inside my brain, and seeing what thoughts my brain is offering me with curiosity, compassion, and courage. T I have a lot of inflammation in my gums today – F concerned A wanting to fix / research
I am noticing feelings that feel like scarcity, like I want to steal things. I have to hold onto all pennies. There’s not enough, the world is ripping me off. I’m scared if I quit my job that others will judge me. I specifically get images in my head of Customer X judging me, and/or Customer Y judging me, and Customer Z judging me. Maybe they wouldn’t want to work with me anymore. If they don’t want to work with me anymore, I would add no value. I would be useless. I’m nervous that my customers wouldn’t be interested in working with me anymore. I think I need to talk to some of these customers beforehand to see what they think, and start to forge that relationship now. So I wonder what I am supposed to do with this thought download at this time?

End of thought download

I have no idea what to do with this. None of these thoughts were subconscious. I knew I felt and was thinking this way. Now what?

I feel like every time I do stuff like this I just end up writing the same stuff over and over, and it feels defeating because there’s no progress or resolution.