For today’s homework we’re asked what we think about relationships and I started to write about my husband. We have a great, respectful, fun and kind, marriage but I’m noticing my thoughts around lack of romance and how my brain is preoccupied with his – “he doesn’t think romantically about me. If he did he’d hold my hand or kiss me outside of hello/goodbye. He’d comment on my looks or touch me when we’re out in public” so I feel “friendly” with him and think thoughts like “we’re more like brother and sister than we are husband and wife”. These are all one-sided observations of course. I could find proof of how we DO kiss and hug, it’s just twice a day for hello/goodbye… I could find proof for how we do touch and become intimate, it’s just twice a month when we have sex… there’s truth both sides here for me and I know you’re gonna tell me to just choose where I focus my attention and if I look for evidence on how he does love me (versus how I look for evidence currently on how he doesn’t) I’d see he is in love with me versus “in like” but how do I know that’s true?? My brain says the answer is to ask him. Yikes. I don’t wanna bring this brain drama to him. Because it won’t change anything… and he’ll tell me of course he loves me but he’ll carry on not complimenting me which as I’m typing this I’m realizing I want him to change so I can feel loved. Eye roll. I know all the things… but I’m stuck on what to believe about our relationship. I want to believe we’re in love. But the evidence is minimal and I want things to be different. Surely they can be? (Yeah yeah I NEED TO DIFFERENT lol and compliment him and love him…) is that the answer? I just coached myself through this it looks like ha!