what I deserve – NAR

Since I’ve been the observer of my thoughts a lot, I’m noticing this heaviness in me that I don’t deserve X,Y, Z, you name it. This isn’t new thinking, but about 2 years ago, I had some failure happen in my business and I’m just now starting to bounce back from it (I’ve hired a marketing coach and doing new things to make changes, etc). But since the failure, I’ve been so mean to myself (and really didn’t see it) but today I have a slow work day and my brain is saying “you are lazy, you shouldn’t have a slow work day. Something is wrong if you relax and enjoy your slow day”. My brain’s been operating like this for 2 years and I’m just now able to think through it! How can I run this through the model? Can you give me some suggestions? Talk about a lot of mistaken beliefs I want to change but glad I captured them for now. Thanks!