What is “loving”?

Hello—I’m five months in with Scholars and grateful and excited for the progress it has helped me make esp in terms of my mental health and work relationships. Applying it to my relationship w my husband gives me LOTS of opportunities to learn and refine. When Brooke talks about thinking loving thoughts and acting in a loving way always being accessible to us, no matter what the other person says/does, I am curious…what does it mean to be loving? Who gets to judge? If I believe I am acting loving to my husband and he doesn’t see it as loving, am I being loving? I used to think that if I acted lovingly towards him, his reaction would reflect that. So I’ve used his (mostly negative) reactions to judge myself as not hitting the “loving” mark. How can I decide for myself what constitutes love and loving behavior? Can love be put in any line of the model?
Feeling so much curiosity around love these days!